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CHAMPIONS!!
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:48 pm GMT    Post subject: CHAMPIONS!! Reply with quote

We would like to dedicate this thread in honor of Dave Papay, whose Gnomes set the standard for Dragon Dice™ humor which all of us who follow must strive for. Not that we reach it, or come close to it, or that we are even worthy to be mentioned in the same breath with the all-knowing "Say, Dave," but we try.
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:54 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steve and Joe's World is proud (or at least audacious enough) to announce our latest contribution to the Dragon Dice™ community-

Steve and Joe's World CHAMPIONS

That's right, you too can have the power of Champions in your DD game, if you have the courage (and the stomach for it). All S&JW Champions utilize the following set of rules:

S&JW Champions Rules

Each S&JW Champion die is a 4-health die representing one of the odd legendary characters you might encounter in Cyrea on nights when you've had one too many slices of works pizza or imbibed more adult beverages than you should have. These Champions are constructed using a convoluted extrapolation of the old Champions rules, as found in Dave Papay's Gnome Champion rules.

WARNING: These Champions have been neither extensively playtested nor minimally playtested. They may very well be insanely overpowered, hopelessly vulnerable, grotesquely imbalanced, or all three. But they’re fun, and that should count for something. Besides, who ever said Steve & Joe were any good at designing dice (beside Steve & Joe, that is)?

NOTE: When "Steve and/or Joe" are mentioned in the following rules, it refers ONLY to Steve Braun and Joe Joiner, NOT to anyone else named Steve or Joe!

We used the following formula and rules in constructing our Champions:

1. Each S&JW Champion has 22 icons (counting the logo as 4), one more than rumored for standard Champions. If you play in our backyard, you play by our rules, see?

2. Each S&JW Champion will have the following distribution of faces: ID, S&JW logo, 1 normal face (we do occasionally make a normal post-I think), 1 useful SAI (we have made useful contributions to the DD community, after all), 1 obscure SAI (hey, they need to be played, too), and 1 new and strange ID (otherwise they'd belong in the "normal" DD world).

3. The S&JW logo has the following effect: If rolled by Steve or Joe, the logo counts for 3 points of whatever you are rolling for, and the die is rerolled. If rolled by anyone else, it either counts as 1 point of whatever you are rolling for, or as 4 points of whatever you are rolling IF you spring to your feet, raise your hands in the air, and wave them while chanting the following magical incantation:

"Way to go, Steve and Joe!
Joe and Steve will not leave!
All hail the mighty clown princes of Esfah!
Take that, Chuck!"


(The first two lines may be transposed by members of the RMBRG.)

3. You may bring 1 S&JW Champion for each 6 health in your beginning army. (EXCEPTION: Steve and Joe may bring 1 of each S&JW Champion, no matter how many health are in their armies.) They begin play in your summoning pool. When eliminated, they return to the summoning pool. As Champions, they are never killed or buried.

4. S&JW Champions are summoned into play using the following spell:

Summon S&JW Champion (5, multi): Bring one S&JW Champion into play in the casting army. This spell costs 1 point of each color of magic. However, if you announce your intention to cast this spell prior to making your magic roll, you may convert magic results to results of another color on a 2-for-1 basis. This spell may only be cast once per magic action.

5. Once brought into play, S&JW Champions act like normal units. {Well, maybe not exactly like normal units, but they follow regular unit rules as long as you can keep their attention on the game.)

6. As Champions, S&JW Champions are not affected by unit-targeting spells and SAIs, except for SAIs generated by other Champions.

7. All S&JW Champions have the ability Pout. At any time, during any action, if the desired roll is not achieved, the Champion may be moved to any other terrain where they may roll again during a separate march.

8. When counting health in play for a tiebreaker, S&JW Champions are ignored. (Hey, we're used to it.)

Individual Champions will be listed in future posts. If you have any ideas, you can post them here, but they will NOT be considered official S&JW Champions until Joe and I agree on them. (Key words: "Joe and I" and "agree." If that happens, not only will your Champion be recognized, but you might spot an airborne porcine animal.)
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(Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...)
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:55 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Our first S&JW Champion:

Stevik, Dwarven Wizard: ID, S&JW logo, 4 Magic (normal), 5 Cantrip (useful), 4 Confuse (obscure), 5 Obfuscate (new)

Obfuscate: During a magic action, counts as 1 point of normal magic which cannot be reduced by any game effect, including spells and SAIs, per icon. During any other action, subtract 1/2 point per Obfuscate icon from all opposing relevant rolls and add them to your relevant roll. (For example, if your opponent is attacking you, he would subtract 2 1/2 points of melee, and you would add 2 1/2 points of save.) Yes, your opponent's roll can go negative and no, you don't round this off.
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The Diceman's Gaming Pages: http://ddicerc.weebly.com
2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
(Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...)


Last edited by ddicerc on Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:22 pm GMT; edited 1 time in total
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:07 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just so you know that the craziness will not die out with this generation, my son's contribution:

Roburk, Insane Winged Demon Undead Pelter: ID, S&JW logo, 5 Missile (normal), 4 Bullseye (useful), 5 Volley (obscure), 4 Scare the Bezortch Out Of (new)

Scare the Bezortch Out Of: When attacking an army at the same terrain by missile or melee, choose 1h of enemy units per STBOO icon to become suicidally frightened. Make one roll with these units prior to the army save roll. Add up all melee results and subtract all save results, treating SAIs normally. Those units take that much damage. For each health of units killed in this roll, the army containing the STBOO unit may promote 1h of units.

(He always wanted an Undead missile unit.)
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The Diceman's Gaming Pages: http://ddicerc.weebly.com
2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
(Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...)


Last edited by ddicerc on Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:23 pm GMT; edited 1 time in total
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:08 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

And, as a warning to those who would seek to marginalize, delegitimize, or otherwise antagonize us:

Chguck, Goblin Marauder: ID, S&JW logo, 5 Melee (normal), 5 Smite (useful), 4 Smother (obscure), 4 Admin (new)

Admin: When rolled during a melee attack or defense roll, immediately move 1h of enemy units per Admin icon to another terrain. Any unresolved results on these dice are ignored.

Special Note: We were forced to spell our Champion's name that way because someone has set up the list to automatically change that name to something else.

Special Note 2: OK, the name works again, but I changed the spelling to "Chguck" anyway to match OUAF.
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Steve "DDice" Braun
The Diceman's Gaming Pages: http://ddicerc.weebly.com
2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
(Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...)


Last edited by ddicerc on Wed Jun 22, 2005 7:18 pm GMT; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:15 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just to get in on the act as well...


J'oek - Frostwing Assailer: ID, S&JW logo, 6 Missile (normal), 5 Fly (useful), 4 Volley (obscure), 4 MYOROFLHBO (new)

MYOROFLHBO (Make your opponent roll on floor laughing his/her butt off): When rolled during ANY action (including maneuvers), target 1h of enemy units per MYOROFLHBO icon which must save or die laughing. Those that save may take no action until the end of your next turn.


So... who's next?
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 5:18 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Yes, your opponent's roll can go negative


If my opponent rolls negative melee or missile, is the damage inflicted upon the attacker? And if my opponent rolls negative magic, do I get to cast it? What exactly do negative rolls do anyway? Confused
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:13 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
If my opponent rolls negative melee or missile, is the damage infliced upon the attacker? And if my opponent rolls negative magic, do I get to cast it? What exactly do negative rolls do anyway?


Obnoxious brat-didn't your parents teach you any manners? (At least your mother?)

I have to think about this. I figured that negative damage would just be nothing, but this actually leads to some interesting possibilities.

1) Negative melee/missile damage damages the attacking army.

2) Negative melee/missile damage heals the defending army.

3) Negative magic gives mana to the other army.

4) Negative magic drains magic from that army's next magic roll.

5) Negative maneuvers make the army move backwards (i.e., to reserves).

6) Negative saves inflict extra damage on the army.

The mind staggers...

So, even though this is a hypothetical question involving a highly suspect SAI which will probably never have any impact on Dragon Dice™, since the rules say you can't have negative damage (but this SAI description overrides that, of course!), how would you treat negative rolls, especially damage? Any takers?
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2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:32 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
counts as 1 point of whatever you are rolling for, or as 4 points of whatever you are rolling IF you spring to your feet, raise your hands in the air, and wave them while chanting the following magical incantation:

"Way to go, Steve and Joe!
Joe and Steve will not leave!
All hail the mighty clown princes of Esfah!
Take that, Chuck!"


What if you are in some way incapable of waving your arms (eg bound in a straitjacket) for the extra 3 points? Twisted Evil
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:40 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
What if you are in some way incapable of waving your arms (eg bound in a straitjacket) for the extra 3 points?


Who's the idiot who taught this kid how to post on this forum? Oh, that would be me... Embarassed

If you are bound in a straitjacket, how the heck are you rolling your dice in the first place?

(BTW, he loves that magic incantation. Says it all the time. This can't be a good sign.)
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2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:52 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
If you are bound in a straitjacket, how the heck are you rolling your dice in the first place?


That is simple. I just pick up the dice in my mouth and spit them out. Razz
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:53 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Who's the idiot who taught this kid how to post on this forum?


Thank's dad for teaching me how to post on the forum! Laughing
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:57 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
That is simple. I just pick up the dice in my mouth and spit them out.


EWWWWW!! That does it! No more borrowing Dad's dice! It was bad enough when your sister tried eating them as a baby...
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2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:59 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Thank's dad for teaching me how to post on the forum!


You're welcome. Only 192 posts to catch up to the old man.

Of course, I'm not sure anyone else will be thanking me. OK, maybe Joe...
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 8:08 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
EWWWWW!! That does it! No more borrowing Dad's dice! It was bad enough when your sister tried eating them as a baby...


What? It's not like I've had any personal experience doing it. Then again it would be interesting to try out... Twisted Evil
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 8:10 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Destroyer wrote:
That is simple. I just pick up the dice in my mouth and spit them out. Razz


Tried that once. Swallowed a goblin by accident. It took almost three days before... oh, never mind.
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 3:07 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Tried that once. Swallowed a goblin by accident. It took almost three days before... oh, never mind.


Now I think I realize that it would probably not be a good idea to play Dragon Dice™ in a strait jacket. Crying or Very sad
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2006 World Champion of Dragon Dice™
AKA Roburk the Insane Winged Demon Undead Pelter, Champion of S&JW
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 3:24 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Now I think I realize that it would probably not be a good idea to play Dragon Dice™ in a strait jacket.


Too late- I already went out and got one for you. Twisted Evil Not only that, but we'll be playing with a chess clock...

Oh, and no dice in the mouth.
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Steve "DDice" Braun
The Diceman's Gaming Pages: http://ddicerc.weebly.com
2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:44 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

A new Champion emerges to befuddle your games...and this one's a monster! As a monster, it does not follow the normal S&JW Champion construction rules (as you will see)...

Stejok, Two-headed Jabberwoc (Feral Monster, loosely related to the Elders)- 2 ID, 8 Jabber

Jabber: Counts as 4 points of everything you need and is rerolled.

Special ID rules for the Stejok: Whenever the ID face of the Stejok comes up, count it as 4 points of anything you don't need and reroll the die.

The incessant jabber of the Stejok manages to befuddle, confuse, and mystify all opponents, who try to find ANY way to shut the thing up so they can go about their business.
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Steve "DDice" Braun
The Diceman's Gaming Pages: http://ddicerc.weebly.com
2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 3:05 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

And another new monster Champion:

??k, the Unseen Faerie (Scalder)-1 ID, 9 blank faces

Special ID rules: The ID of ??k counts as 0 points of anything you need.

Special unit rules: ??k counts as a 0h unit for the purpose of army construction. ??k may not be targeted with any game effect whatsoever, since no one sees him. If all units except ??k are killed, ??k immediately vaporizes into a fully transparent mist and leaves the game.

"Dang Unseen Faerie! When am I going to get one of those dag-blasted things?! Wait, I think I see...nope, just another Uttercrap."
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2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
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